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‘Forget me knot day’ support Australian adult survivors to child abuse

Thursday, 29 October 2009, 9:02 (EST)
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Friday 13th November is ASCA’s Forget-me-knot Day, when all Australians are encouraged to show their support for more than two million adult Australians[i] personally affected by childhood abuse, as part of an International Week For Prevention of Child Abuse.

ASCA is the key organisation advancing the needs of adults who have experienced child abuse. The knot in ‘Forget-me-knot’ Day is symbolic of the ‘tangle’ of childhood abuse, which in most cases is a lifelong challenge for the adult to unravel. For this largely ignored group, untangling the knot of childhood abuse is often a solitary, confusing and complex task.

Through a range of activities including a national petition, a photographic competition and the unravelling of a mammoth knot on an iconic Sydney building, ASCA’s ‘Forget-me-knot Day’ raises awareness of this struggle, and gives all Australians an opportunity to donate, and help adult survivors to reconnect with their community. Details can be found here www.asca.org.au/forgetmeknot

ASCA Chairperson, Dr Cathy Kezelman says, “As a society we can forget that abused children grow up. We find the trauma of childhood abuse difficult to comprehend; so it is often ignored, left unspoken and unaddressed. As a result, many survivors feel a misplaced sense of shame about their abuse, and suffer in silence, feeling isolated and marginalized. Many survivors suffer from low self-esteem, struggling with a sense of their own value and worth. ASCA works to empower survivors, encouraging nurture and self-care, while also establishing a healthy support network and providing tools for positive change.”

A feature of the Forget-me-knot Day celebrations is a ‘ceremony of connection’ performance, which takes the thread from the ASCA tangled knot and weaves it between individuals, connecting those affected by child abuse with one another, but also with family and friends, as well as with the broader community.

The impact of child abuse is not just felt by the children. The adults they become, their families, their partners and their community are all impacted by this tragedy. More than eight million Australian community members are directly affected by child abuse. In a population of 22 million, this is a staggering figure.

Dr Kezelman adds “Society is slowly recognising that silence around child abuse is harmful. Speaking about and acknowledging childhood abuse and its long-term impact is important. Community and government acknowledgement and support for survivors is critical for their healing process. So many people are affected by this tragedy and yet those abused often feel they must keep their pain a secret. The child is the victim, yet the processing of the violation can be a life-long struggle for the adult to overcome.”

Child sexual assault is widespread in this country. One in three girls and one in six boys is sexually abused before the age of eighteen in Australia. Neglect, emotional abuse and domestic violence additionally devastate thousands of childhoods. Last year alone, there were 55,120 substantiated cases of child abuse and neglect, and real figures are estimated to be much higher.

Ignoring this health issue has a societal and economic cost, as the following statistics illustrate:

76% of women and 72% of men with severe mental illness have been abused.
84% of Odyssey House participants (drug rehabilitation program in Australia) report a history of child abuse.
80-85% of women in Australian prisons are victims of incest or other types of abuse.
Sexually abused females in crisis centres are four times more likely to have a history of substance abuse and twice as likely to be alcoholic.

In November 2008, Access Economics published a report estimating the financial impact projected over a lifetime for children abused or neglected for the first time in 2007. In 2007, it was estimated that 130,237 children were abused or neglected for the first time in Australia, although the figure could be as high as 490,000 children. Based on these numbers, the projected cost of child abuse and neglect that will be incurred by the Australian community over the lifetime of children who were first abused or neglected in 2007 was $13.7 billion, but could be as high as almost $40 billion.

Earlier this year, ASCA made a submission to the Human Rights Commission Consultation and the United Nations seeking global change in the rights of victims of child abuse and child sexual abuse by caregivers in the private domain, calling for such acts to be recognised as a violation of human rights.

For fifteen years, ASCA has provided support for those who have suffered abuse in the past and are struggling with its effects in the present, and raised awareness about the legacy of childhood trauma. Through its Australia-wide network of survivors, supporters and professionals, ASCA has been helping to break down the sense of isolation and alienation that many survivors feel.

With the right help and support, survivors can find their way through the tangle of child abuse and find a sense of health and wellbeing and re-engage positively in their communities. Listening, understanding and supporting are critical to the healing process. ASCA is a core part of the solution, delivering evidence-based workshops to adult survivors of child abuse, and workshops for health practitioners to inform treatment of survivors of child abuse around Australia.

“ASCA has been instrumental in helping survivors and their loved ones to find the right dialogue to overcome their trauma and build lasting connections to society. Through ‘Forget me knot’ Day – we aim to turn this dialogue into a national conversation so that survivors experience the nurture as adults –they were denied as children, and make positive steps to recovery,” said Dr Kezelman.


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